Know Your Stars: Minami Kousaka

Today's Guest: Minami Kousaka

Know your stars... Know your stars... Know your stars... Know your stars... Know your stars... Know your stars...

Minami: Huh? Where am I? Why in Gordon Bennett's name have I woke up at the wrong time?

Don't worry, it'll come to your senses anyway as if it was just a dream... We aim to get to know you...

Minami: I know, right? Let everyone know me.

Minami Kousaka...

She is currently putting on some weight...

Minami: The hell, much?! I'm not putting on some weight! I'm in love with a sexy badass robot host of Toonami named T.O.M.!

Oh, you mean that sparkling vampire whose favorite color is blue?

Minami: Hello! T.O.M. is a 100% sexy badass robot host of Toonami! I have a picture to prove it! See? See?! *Shows a picture of T.O.M. in her PSP*

Nice picture. Makes me think that T.O.M. is a robot host.

Minami: He is a sexy badass robot host! He even has a Facebook account and he shows up on Toonami Chat on a Sunday.

Minami Kousaka...

Likes to drink blood...

Minami: Wait a minute, I like to drink blood?! Blood isn't something humans can't drink! I'm pretty sure that only vampires would like to drink blood from humans and even from animals!

What was the flavor of the last blood you drank?

Minami: Blood has no flavor, no additives, no preservatives, no carbs, no sugar, and is fat-free like water, because I didn't drink blood! I don't drink blood because I'm human! I like to drink whatever I want but alcohol and such.

Orange-flavored blood.

Minami: Wait, what?! There is no such thing, dammit!

Minami Kousaka...

She's actually a Korean-British butler named Sebastian Lee...

Minami: Sebastian Lee? Who's Sebastian Lee? Someone you know? I don't know anyone named Sebastian Lee! I'm a Korean-British butler named Sebastian Lee?!

Sure you are.

Minami: Goddammit... I'm not Sebastian Lee.

Sebastian Lee...

Loves to eat live octopus...

Minami: Well, excuuuse me! My name is NOT Sebastian Lee! I'm actually a girl by the name of Minami Kousaka!

Are you hungry, Sebastian? If you are, I have made you a nice plate of live octupus for you to eat.

Minami: Okay, that does it! Where the hell are you?! Is that you, Pitch Black and his pet King Worm, trying to mess with me by giving me nightmares?! Whoever you are, I'll bite you to death!

Why? You wanna drink some of my blood?

Minami: I don't drink blood, dammit!

Maybe you'd like to drink blood if you had it with a meal consisting of live octopus.

Minami: You'd better attack that octopus first before you eat it!

Minami, I know a certain Chinese werewolf who's really hunky and is slenderously muscular. Better yet, he'll make you forget about that sparkling blue vampire of yours.

Minami: T.O.M.'s not a sparkling blue vampire! He's a sexy badass robot host of Toonami! I've even proven it all to you!

Maybe you'll go out on a date with him. He even ordered you some blood and live octopus for dinner. You can do better than that vampire T.O.M.

Minami: Why don't you come down here and say it to my face before I will try and bite you to death?

The more you know...

Minami Kousaka...

Minami: They don't know a lot about me! The only thing they know is that you're a moron! Get back here! Don't you end this segment for me! You are so totally wrong about everything you said about me! Whoever gave you this information is a moron! Pitch, I know you sent a certain someone to mess with me!

Ahahaha! Ahahaha!

Minami: Aaargh, stop laughing, will ya?