I'm so Sorry Everyone, But...

2 min read

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Minami-Kousaka's avatar
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I just can't help it. My mom and my sister are hurting me, abusing me, and even wished me dead. I hate my mom so much that she said I'm useless, I'm a mistake, and will even kill me by stabbing me with a knife. I just can't do it. I just can't wait to commit suicide that I don't care if everyone will cry over me in a pool of my own blood mixed with my own menstrual blood. If I were to go out and get lost in a while, that's fine, but if I ever get killed, kidnapped, or worse, raped, it's what I deserve. Why would my own mother make like a bully and call me useless? Why would she ever throw me out of the house for good? Why would she ever send me to an abandoned warehouse, all tied up, just to be killed like I'm some sacrifice?

Is it because she uses my Autism as some sort of curse? If I ever went to some goddamn SPED school, that's okay, but if I ever received some shock therapy, it's what I deserve, too! I'm so sorry everyone, but suicide is the only way to end my suffering and despair.
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Sigfriedofgaea's avatar
Why do you keep saying you deserve this fate?  I say if your mom and sister wanted to kill you, they probably would have already.  From what I see here... they simply enjoy seeing you suffer.  That's the very definition of bullying right there. 

If you let them keep you down like this, then you have let them win.

NOW, HOW ABOUT WE FIX THIS?  How will we go about fixing this?

Simple, but difficult.  We get back up...

... AND WE FIGHT BACK!

What I've learned is to smile in the face of adversity.  Smile, and even laugh!  Just the very action of smiling, even when you feel you have nothing left in the tank, has been proven to improve your mood.  The muscles being pulled in that fashion trigger the brain to pull up images of whenever else you've smiled, which will bring happy thoughts, which will in turn improve your mood.

Think about it... it's very hard to smile when in a depressing situation, even more so to laugh.  It takes a lot of strength to do it in said situations.  But if you can pull it off - and I'm very confident that you will - then you will have become one of the strongest people on the planet!  You will show them that their enjoyment of your suffering will be at an end!

By the way, I'd like you to know I have Autism too.  I totally understand what you're going through.  You're most definitely not alone in the matter.